theres so much i want to say

this dumb blog is all i have

i cant even turn my thoughts into something beneficial like coherent writing

i often cant recognise myself anymore but ive been unbelievably out of touch with my feelings

now that im on my own and you're next to my mind it appears i really do care

but im not bitter or angry, god knows anger is a privilege, im just sad

im mad at myself for ever doing this in the first place

and messing everything up

for me and for you

i should've let it all just be

in a pretty sick way i suppose i should be glad you're gone

maybe then letting go of any of this could finally be easy for me

im really tired of holding out

it hurts too much

everything hurts and my stomach feels all wrong

and don't even get me started on the chest pains

there's something really wrong

give me a reason not to go or let me let go

it all hurts too much

and i need to do something because i cant keep feeling like this, i wont do it to myself